Death by Haggis free read À 6

review Death by Haggis

Death by Haggis free read À 6 À An Breakthrough Novel uarterfinalist Death by Haggis is a tongue in cheek detective novel inspired by the Bulwer Lytton Fiction Contest for the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novelsUntil the day Jane Hamchester walked into his sualid office the highlight of Detective Sam Barlow's life had been a particulaD been a particularly good tuna sandwich Now he is charged with trying to save the life of the only woman he ever uhm thought was really swell His only problem is that there are no clues other than the nonsensical utterances of a dying manBarlow's desperate search takes him first to Scotland and then t. This book is certainly a fun turn of events that keeps you wondering when the next piano is going to drop I'm not kidding about the piano drops either Seriously Author Jay Cutts' writing style is reminiscent of Douglas Adams The Author of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy where in it is intelligently focused in a nonsensical way of putting the story across The flow and heavy use of simile and metaphor make for great laughs and better imagery

Jay Cutts ì 6 review

O the Aegean But time is running out Not only for Jane but for the human race Barlow's only possible hope lies at the bottom of an ancient cavern a remnant from the time when a different kind of human populated the Earth a kind of human that could have saved mankind Alas they are long extinct Or are th. This rollicking novel follows a nebbishy detective who tries to protect a pure hearted woman and finds himself swept up in a series of events that may change the course of human history And that’s no hyperbole The story is charmingly spiced with lots of wordplay and bits of philosophical whimsy as it hops from one outrageous misadventure or character to the next There’s an evil twin a psychologist who talks and charges like a prostitute a hilariously uninterested boat captain and even a couple of deities I recommend giving Death by Haggis a try; it’s a very amusing imaginative ride

free download Ï PDF, eBook or Kindle ePUB ì Jay Cutts

Death by HaggisAn Breakthrough Novel uarterfinalist Death by Haggis is a tongue in cheek detective novel inspired by the Bulwer Lytton Fiction Contest for the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novelsUntil the day Jane Hamchester walked into his sualid office the highlight of Detective Sam Barlow's life ha. Jay the author of this book sent me an email a while back saying he'd just started on my novel Pickles and Ponies A Fairy Tale He's since read it and written a lovely review and I absolutely appreciate him as a person However my knowing Jay has in no way affected my review and likewise in no way does my review reflect on him as a personI COULD NOT finish this book It made me so miserable that I barely know where to start I DNF'd at 10% after spending a couple of months trying to read it In this time I pretty much gave up reading I knew that I had to read Haggis and I felt too guilty about it sitting there waiting to read anything else Hence no books for me for the past two monthsSadly I have just killed yet another ereader so am unable to access the bulk of my notes However the page it's frozen on features sentences such as It reached nearly to her waist and he desperately wanted to as well This is supposed to be a complete sentence On the same page there's borderline nounadjective confusion 'female' is used rather than 'feminine' There is a run on sentence which makes me feel like the author hates punctuation She was too far away to start talking to but too close to not look at so that for the final 30 seconds of her approach they looked at each other in a silence that was too intimate for complete strangers Read that aloud Seriously read it aloud NO BREATHING FOR YOU And of course that's excluding the poor grammar 'too close to not look at' and the irresponsible stylistic use of numbers '30' rather than 'thirty'THIS PAGE IS KILLING ME The approaching vixen holds out a hand in that delicate way that is not so much for shaking as for touching and she says 'I am the lady of the house Our housemistress says you are American or if not then perhaps the davil'1 'davil'2 the usual synonym for the 'lady of the house' is the 'mistress of the house' yet here we are to understand that the 'housemistress' is a different personThe wooden dialogue continues 'Few people chance upon our little castle by themselves I'm afraid it's uite plain and uninteresting' Who talks like that Elderly vampires Elderly vampires of the non charismatic varietyI must admit though I did snicker at the protagonist's response 'Oh uh I think it's real swell Great wooden door and I love your huge knockers They're almost too much for two hands' Again forced and awkward but like I said I snickeredOkay So that's my feedback from the one frozen page I can view As you can tell I'm not very impressed especially given Jay provides editing services to other indie authors But what of the rest of the book Could it be just one errant pageSadly no The dialogue is wooden the characters are dull and uninteresting stereotypes the timeline is all over the show and the style is inconsistent As to the latter the author explains that he and a friend started the book as a joke writing paragraph by paragraph to my recollection each with a very different style It comes off schizophrenic because apparently they decided to just leave it like that And the timeline There's just no sense of pacing it's like when you read a kid's first attempt at a story and it goes Bob was hungry so he bought a burger Then he was tired so he slept all night long the end You feel like you're whooshing from character to character and scene to scene but without any real content in betweenI've spoken with one of my friends who seems to be enjoying this book than I have but I just can't do it I've heard that Jay's second book Annie Gomez and the Gigantic Foot of Doom is out n